woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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