i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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