haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
FUCK WHALES
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
