just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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