Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
