do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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