Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
