i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize