So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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