K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
