So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
