Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
