If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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