Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
