ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
