forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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