All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
