Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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