READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
