hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
And then he peed in my hair
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