So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
