Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
