He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
