Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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