Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
