Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You made out with two different species that night
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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