My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
