Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
