The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Randomize
