the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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