I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
