there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
