What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
