why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
