return my video game
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize