woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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