i jhust puked up my retainher.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
