omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He uses pillows to masturbate.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
