Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize
