I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
