I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize