Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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