i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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