South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
