can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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