Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
