when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
