She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
