I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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