you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
