college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize