I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
