How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize
