based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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