Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
