i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize