You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
