No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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