i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Randomize
