jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize