I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize