loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
