On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
