Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
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