You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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