I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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