you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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